Dear You,

I don't know who you are, but I know that if I write this we will have some pretty cool stuff to talk about when we meet. So I'm writing it.

God's put you on my heart, and I pray for you so much. Why should I keep convincing myself that it's crazy to dream of you like I do sometimes? Nah, it's not crazy. Why should I call my Lord crazy if he puts you on my heart?

< This is you 3 (Inside my heart. Ha.)

Hmm, where to start?

Well, first off, I am super stoked to tell jokes with you. They may not always be funny, but we will laugh anyway. Just so we can hear the harmony in the air.

I know that we will have tough times too...times of sadness and stagnation in life that will be hard to deal with. But I also know that by working through them, we will only become stronger in our faith and in our love.

Cause golly, I know I'll love the boogers outta you.

But that's not the focus right now. I don't even know you yet, so I am gracefully confined to praying for your well-being and your heart.

I pray for you as I pray for my own soul.

Be strong! Like I know you are strong.

Trust in the Lord your God with every fiber of your being, and continue to strive toward following His will for you.

Guard your heart, and keep your eyes on things of beauty and holiness.

Keep a smile on your face and a glow in your heart, but remember that it's not weak to show weakness. It only makes you human my dear...and you are not called to be perfect. Only faithful.

Keep your faith, hold fast to it because we both know that it's the only way to live.

Don't worry about tomorrow, and don't give up on dreams.

I have so much faith in you. How cool is it to think that someone out there that you've never met believes in you?

Maybe you believe in me too...

May you live your life in the love story of our God, as our own prologue continues.

I am,

Yours.

Love.

What does it mean to love?

I've "fallen in love."

Bashed my head against it, really.

I've been told "I love you" in the context of a relationship.

I've told others "I love you" in that context too.

And when I've said that, I've meant it as much as humanly possible.

But I've yet to BE in love...in a love that transcends what's humanly possible. In a love that involves not only myself, but also a God that wraps us in Love all-encompassing.

That kind of love doesn't just come around once a week. Which is how it's supposed to be anyway...something worth waiting for. Something that will be so much neater than anything you could try to imagine.

I still try to imagine anyway...

As I get older, the little part of my soul that belongs only to him starts becoming more noticeable. There's a low hum of loneliness that starts echoing through my ears if I focus on it.

So I try not to focus on it.

There are a few characteristics that I know for certain that he will have. Call me crazy, but I just know. It's not something I've thought up, like "oh that would be cool." No, I just know...and I cling to those little pieces of knowledge. And pray over them every time I think about him.

And I pray over him. That he will find his strength in the One who gives it freely. That he will continue living his life in the direction God leads him. And that he will continue searching for me, as I search for him.

Cause at this point, my heart is not on the market for anyone but him anymore.

The fact that I'm even writing this makes it all the more real. That I'm not in the "dating game" anymore...that I'm actually just waiting for the one I'll BE in love with.

Ooh. Scary.

But the funny thing is, it makes life so much easier! Once you set your mind on God and the fact that He has an amazing future planned for you, you don't have to TRY to work out your own life anymore. You can just LIVE it. Have awesome friends who are Godly men and not think "oh hey, I could date them I bet." It's SO MUCH BETTER THIS WAY.

Plus, by not giving my heart away, I'm falling more in love with my future him every day. And I don't even know who he will turn out to be...all I know is he will be my best friend. And we will laugh more than preschoolers with playdoh.

It's all in God's hands, His timing. I'm done looking, trying to "find" love with my own efforts.

Cause when we finally find each other, it will be by none of my own doing. And totally worth the wait. Worth all the effort, all the tough times, all the good times...all the laughter and all the tears.

All the lonely nights when you're up at two just kind of pondering it all.

And it'll be Love.

I Have Stuff to Say...Yay

It's 1:17 AM.

And I'm blogging. Oh well, I can't help it I suppose. When you gotta blog, you gotta blog.

There are a lot of things I wish I could say...and there are just two people that I want to say them to.

Person 1: I get it now. I'll leave you alone.

Person 2: I wish that things could be ok between us, but sometimes things aren't.

Now that you're all hooked in because there are secrets involved...guess what.

I'm probably not going to tell either of those persons those things.

It's not necessary, and I must be discerning and understand that sometimes trying to say something can do more harm than good. I made them intentionally vague, so I could still write this blog. So unless you are one of said persons and just happen to be good with vagueness, you won't figure out who they are.

But then, what do I do when I desperately want to say those things, and they are going to explode inside me if I don't do something??

I have a cool privilege. I can take them to God.

And we can talk it out, and He will understand. Understand why I want to say them, why they can't be said, and what to say instead.

If I say anything at all...

That is one of the coolest things about having a God that loves me. He's interested in all my little problems, and they don't ever weigh Him down.

He's God. He can handle it. He wants to handle it.

So I can keep my big I-mess-stuff-up-by-talking-when-I-shouldn't-mouth shut, and pray for those people to be healthy, happy, and know that they are worthy to be loved. Cause they are, and I do want the best for them, and everyone I know.

So, in conclusion, if you have problems, I recommend taking them to God.

Even the little lame ones.

He can handle them...heck, He just wants to talk to you.

I'm gonna go take my own advice.

Oh, and if you see Person 1 or Person 2 around, tell them that they are loved.