Here's my most recent article for SUSIE magazine.
8 ½ Steps to Make it Through the Moderately-Worst Day of Your Life.
We all have those days. When life is just awful, and we want to punch things (preferably soft, un-injuring things). Some bad days creep up on us unexpectedly, and sometimes they launch themselves at our faces first thing in the morning. But I’ve discovered a few things that can help you get through the moderately-worst day of your life. So follow me, ‘cause I’ve made a list!
1) Breathe.
If you stop breathing…well, that’s a problem. This first step is kind of vital to the rest of them. Recognize that no matter what the day has thrown at you so far, you are still breathing. You still exist, and will exist past this bad day. The bad day is just trapped inside itself in that little box on the calendar. Breathe deep, and relish it.
2) Put one foot in front of the other
At least you’re moving. Sometimes that’s the only thing we can do to get through the day. Just keep taking one step at a time. Even if it seems like they’re little itty-bitty baby steps, they are steps. They are taking you a step further from the moderate awfulness of the day.
Step 2 ½ ) On the flip side, sometimes we need to just stop and sit. Crawl into God’s lap while the world spins around us. It really depends on the circumstances of the day, and what would be most healing for our hearts. And sometimes getting through involves both stepping and sitting. Resting in the love of the Lord and then getting up and taking a few steps, then resting some more. A continual process, and nothing to be ashamed of.
3) Shut out negative thoughts
These are what can turn a kinda-bad day into an awful one. The minute you start thinking “Oh this happened, now what if this other worse thing happens? And then this even more worse-er thing happens? And then…” That’s it. You’re caught in a vicious cycle. Moderately bad things happen to us every day, but it’s the amount of recognition that we give them that determines how much they affect us. Stay positive as much as possible!
4) Don’t focus on it.
So, today is not so great. Wanna know something? It’s only a day. Just one, out of the 365 of them we get each year. Distract yourself in God’s word. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 is a great verse to lean on: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
Bad days happen, but after they are over that’s just it. They are over. Don’t give a bad day more recognition that it deserves, because it doesn’t deserve any. Stupid bad days.
5) Find encouragement.
Focus on this rather than the bad day. And you can find encouragement in a ton of places! Hey, the Bible is full of it (check out Psalms)! Good friends, parents, Dove chocolates…go find support that you can lean on. Encouragement is such a key to getting through a bad day, even if you’re the one doing the encouraging for yourself. I believe in you, and I would reach out there and give you a hug right now if I could. So you should believe in you too. Be encouraged!
6) Stay away from negative impacts
On the flip side, don’t go searching for things that just make you feel good. There is a difference between seeking support, and seeking something to make it all go away. Beware of addictions especially. (Yes, Facebook counts as an addiction). Encouragement is all about saying “Hey, this happened, but you are strong and can make it even in the stupid days.” Addictions whisper “Hey, c’mere and I can make you forget.” Don’t do it dear friends…because ultimately it’s not about forgetting. It’s about getting through—learning how to handle life as it comes.
7) Control your attitude
Even on days when absolutely nothing is going your way, and you even watched your toast walk off the plate and jump to the ground butter-side-down, there is something you can control. You. Your outlook, your attitude and your level of optimism. Anyone familiar with the TV show The Office might remember the quote that Andy made after he came back from anger management: “Cool. I can’t control what you do, I can only control what I do.” Granted, he also wanted people to call him Drew, but that’s beside the point. You can determine that you will take the day in stride, and make it out on the other side. Hey, you might even make it out smiling.
8) Let it go.
The last step, and most important conclusion to a bad day. Let it end. It will be over in 24 hours, and when it’s over let it be over. Tomorrow is a new day, don’t anticipate that it will be a worse day (see step 3). Remember that scripture from Matthew 6:34? “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Bad days are bad, and they come visit us occasionally. It may even feel like frequently, but we can survive them. If you are struggling with some really hard issues, don’t be afraid to reach out to someone and say “I seem to be having bad days back-to-back, can you help me out?” That’s why we have pastors, counselors, mentors and doctors. Because sometimes it’s more than just the moderately-worst day. But when it’s only a bad day try the steps above, and know that there’s someone out there rooting for you.
